Lately my Sunday’s have started with laughter. Laughter – something you should find readily available, at any time, in any place, is not something I can say was present on Sunday mornings before I started attending PC3. It’s simple really, but new. And I think most of this can be attributed to the general feel of PC3 – of ease, peace, and love – it allows me to relax, and laugh, because even if only for that one hour, everything is right, and nothing can stop me.
Too many Sundays were started with “here we go, another day” which usually lead to “Ugh, I have a whole new week to get through”. I got really tired of that, really fast! My days have often been a blur of just moving along to get through the day – going through the motions because you have to, not because I wanted to. So a few months back, I decided that I’d had enough of that. I’m not saying there’s one solution, or one quick fix, but what I did realize, is that it wasn’t just one thing. It was a mix of all the ways in which I was wasting my life, going about my days as if it didn’t matter – that nothing I did mattered.
It’s interesting – moving here was a big change for me, and definitely for the better. While I still have a long way to go until I am where I need to be, moving here to Wilmington was a great start. In the 6 months I have been here, I have been given many opportunities to question who I am, who I want to be, and who I should be.
And as fate would have it, there I was today at PC3 – starting a new series called My One Word – where it looks as if I will be challenged to figure out who I want to be, and pick the first step in getting there. (Sidenote: today on twitter, a friend wrote “There were thousands of people here today, but they wrote that sermon just for me” – It seems like every day at PC3 is like that, and today without fail, Mike reached me, out of thousands, and spoke to me. – Does your pastor reach you like that?) Every seat was full, there were people sitting in the aisles, standing against the walls, and watching the TV’s in the hallways – to hear Mike’s message. I love this place – clearly everyone else in town does too!
So who do I want to be in 365 days? Mike said something along the lines of “It’s not about what you do, but who you want to become”. So flaws and faults aside, who do I want to be? Well I started jotting a few things down throughout the rest of the service…
In January of 2013, I want to be – accountable, committed, passionate, timely, strong, forgiving, a leader, a follower and goodness knows what else. I’m always going to want to change something, do something better, stop bad habits, but I have to pick just one.
I choose commitment. It’s a weakness of mine. I’m going to, I should, I wish I had – no more. I need to commit. I like this word because it’s applicable in everything I do each day. I need to set a schedule for the day, and commit to it. I need to set a budget, and commit to it. I need to take my friendships, and commit to them. It’s everywhere, all the time – if I am going to be the person I want to be, I need to start committing – to myself.
A few weeks ago, we were told that you have to get a handle on all the small things, before you can handle something huge. If I can’t commit to something little, why on earth should I think I can handle something big? So I need to get started on these little things.
When I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. I am committing to my daily life – successes, failures, and everything in between. I’m going to make mistakes, screw it up, but part of committing means that even after the screw ups, I need to get back on track.
Well, time for me to get back on track, I have some reading to get to!
You matter. The things you do, matter. And at the end of the day, I want it to matter that I GET to wake up tomorrow, and do it again.