When people change, and you can’t understand.

I’ve been thinking about how much things have changed over the years. People change, plans change; intentions, goals, and dreams – they all change. But the point in keeping the people you love close, is that they’re the ones that are holding your hands the whole way through.

In the past 8 years, I’ve changed a lot. I went to two universities, made a lot of friends, found a lot of hobbies, and taken many paths along the way. When I left high school, I had two best friends. We did everything together – literally everything. These were the people I thought I’d be 85 and celebrating life with. But what I didn’t know going into college was that things will change. They always do, and I know this now. But I didn’t think they would.

When I went to Virginia Tech, I became a completely different person. Not in a bad way… just in the sense that I was far away, I didn’t know anyone. I made new friends and tried new things, and by the end of the year I was 100% totally different. It shouldn’t surprise me that my best friends and I didn’t talk as much. I was different, and I’m sure they were too. Time changes you, but it’s okay. 

By the end of my sophomore year, I had learned that time didn’t change them enough to keep the two of them apart; seemed like it was just me. And I was mad. But 4 years later, I’ve come to realize that you can’t be mad when things change. You can wish they hadn’t all you want, but it won’t fix the situation. Sure, I’d be glad to have them in my life again like we used to be. But I don’t know that we could be there for each other in the same way. They don’t know me, and I don’t know them. We don’t know what each other has been through; our struggles, road bumps, or walls we’ve had to tear down. I don’t know what they’ve been up to, what their plans are, or their new hopes and dreams. Truth is at this point, we’d be surface level acquaintances, with not much in common and not much to share.

But then I think about where I am now. The people I have now. I am so blessed. Laura and Ray have been more of a backbone for me the past 3 years than I ever could have imagined. Marshall has made my dreams come true in a way I didn’t know was possible. The happiness I thought I had before was great, but was only a glimpse into the happiness I have found today. And today I can truly say that these are the people I’ll be 85 and celebrating life with. Others, too, I’m sure. But I’ve gone from the “I wonder if these people will always be around” in high school, to the “I know these people will always be around” certainty today. Marshall is my life’s missing piece. Laura and Ray keep my back straight and my heart full. I have it all. I have everything I want and more. 

And then there’s everyone else in my life. I’ve gotten lucky. I have some of the best friends anyone could ask for. My family has increased from real family, to include all of the people I love around me. I have a heck of a family. I have a giant wall of friends around me at all times. Some may come and go. Some might stick around. But my missing piece, and my full heart will keep me going.

My life revolves around Marshall and Laura. And I love it. I have everything. I have it all.


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